Yeah, you read that title correctly.
So many times in my life, I paid people back according to their mistakes towards me. Do you know why?
Because it seemed fair;
In my head, it was like this: I was here calm and quiet, and then this piece of sh/#& came and did that thing to me. So, guess what: I would pay it back.
How?
Well, during my lifetime on earth, this "paying back" already had a lot of shapes.
In the beginning, it was more like doing exactly the same thing to that person. But after some years of practicing, I just got pain.
Yes, pain for feeling bad about doing the same thing that I was condemning in the first place and also because it used to initiate a vicious circle of throwing and receiving.
So, I would just get stuck in those emotional traps until the time that I decided not to fall into them anymore.
However, I would still get upset. And by getting upset, I would put a big hat of blame in people's heads that would basically lead to cutting them off of my life or not giving them any opportunity to build any relationship with them (Because in my head, they were the incarnated evil).
That seemed pretty fair to me.
But as life continues, you notice that you can't simply get rid of people; somehow, they must continue in your life. At work, for example.
For several reasons I will explain later, I decided to continue to be nice to them, no matter what. Like they never make a mistake towards me.
And guess what happened? They started to become nicer to me, To have more trust in me. Relationships began to be built up ( Just because I decided no longer to shut the door down).
With time I started to realize that those people were not as bad as I used to think.
Forgiving them as they have never done what they did towards me, gave me every day a new opportunity to build up the relationship correctly.
Consequently, that starts to give a little piece of peace in your head.
Now, why have I decided to change?
In life, we get this kind of thinking: "I can let people play with me", "I can't let people make me a fool," and "they can't even think for a second that I am naive", "this is wrong, how could I let that go?".
If you are human, you've probably already got stuck with these thoughts or situations that lead you to think like that.
Yeah, it is "perfectly" natural. However, let me tell you that it is imperfect.
Yes, imperfect.
Because justice utterly requires balance.
"Justice is balance".
If you are human and do something wrong, justice brings justice to correct, cleanse and ultimately erase what you did wrong.
So, in an attempt to bring correction, it brings punishment ( through destruction).
In a so fallen world, justice would not only prevent us from developing, but ultimately it would obliterate us.
Imagine a big field of grass trying to grow, and then the forces of nature realize that they are not growing aesthetically perfect at a microscopic level; Then they would come and trim every imperfection. Well, you don't need to be a genius to realize that this field would never grow (Because it is imperfect, in essence)
Now, imagine for a second that this force of nature that is in charge of the field is just power and justice. So, it would destroy the field while trying to correct it. Wouldn't it be much better if this force would care a little bit and let the grass grow even with those microscopic imperfections? Because in the end, we would get a beautiful grass field that potently could be a beautiful landscape.
So, the point is to care. To love what is in its hands.
So, love is the solution.
Love is perfection.
Love goes further and beyond justice.
Love forgives.
Justice is good, but love is perfect.
So, why have I changed?
Not only because I experienced its results. But also because I believe in God.
Yes, you read that correctly.
If you don't believe it, at least assume that what I have said so far makes sense. We are imperfect, and letting slide the imperfections of others allows us to get a good thing in the end.
I think that God behaves in the same way. He sees all our imperfections, shortcomings, missteps, etc.. But, he continuously gives us new opportunities every day because he knows that we have so much potential to do things right in the future, like the grass field that I mentioned.
So, in the end, because God is love.